Finally in love with me

As the New Year has come, this is the first year that I will not be making a resolution. Looking back on 2014, I couldn’t be happier with the way my year turned out. Everything that I planned to happen in 2014 was the exact opposite of what reality brought to me. Harsh or not, it was exactly what I needed. Ok well I could have lived without a couple of things but they sure did make the journey interesting…

In 2014, I accomplished more than I could have ever imagined. I found the strength to finally fall in love with myself. Sure I know that may sound silly but girl you rock that frizzy hair and call it teased! I finished another year of college and I think we can all toast to that. Also traveled all the way to Guatemala to fill the hearts of children with love when they really changed me.

As 2015 is here and now, all I can hope for is a year as fabulous as this one has been.

Ps. Here’s a little reminder that if Carrie Bradshaw isn’t perfect, no one is.
‘I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.’ Carrie

XOXO

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?

As I have been running around all day trying to get last minute details figured out before leaving for break, I realized what a mess I was. I had gotten absolutely nothing accomplished all day and that included what I looked like. Big messy bun on top of my head that had been sprayed with dry shampoo one too many times, eyeliner starting to run and oversized sweatshirt. As I looked into the mirror, I suddenly wished it could speak back to me. The Evil Queen had some kind of encouragement, why couldn’t I have some too? Hey I’m not an Evil Queen. Well at least I don’t think so…

 

I can hear the wedding bells…

Everywhere you turn during the holidays, you see couples around the corner. Mistletoe hung in the doorways, the love shared between one another. Here I am, just the awkward girl watching from the background. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been asked on dates before but just not by the right guy. I may be guilty of waiting for this glorious moment in which wedding bells ring in my head whenever our eyes finally meet…

They say most people have already met the person they are going to marry and all I can say is I pray that’s not the truth. I would love to be kissed under the mistletoe or swept off my feet on New Years Eve. However, in this situation I am willing to wait it out. Tall, Dark, Handsome aka Patrick Dempsey or Jesse Metcalfe. I mean have you seen John Tucker Must Die? You can’t look at the boy and tell me you honestly hoped he was no longer walking this earth. Patrick Dempsey married his hair stylist. Sign me up!

As I’m waiting for the perfect guy to come and sweep me off my feet, I am patiently waiting. Ok well maybe not patiently, but I’m waiting.

Where to begin?

There is so much to do in NYC! Where to begin? I have planned the trip out to every last second and yet I feel like I might miss something. Every outfit for every day has already been carefully orchestrated to look like a true New Yorker. My family insists that I not wear heels, but how could you not? I mean at least some wedges, come on people it’s one of the fashion capital’s of the world!

I pictured myself feeding the ducks like Blair in Gossip Girl… Until I got the bad news about that. Like what do you mean you can’t feed the ducks? Shouldn’t the be considered false advertisement? Never mind the ducks, the fashion is what draws me in. I can see it now, bags on every arm as I’m roaming the streets.

If anyone has any suggestions about what I should do or visit while there, please let this girl know. I don’t want to miss a thing! So much to do and so little time!

XOXO

The End is Near…

Ok well not the end that you are thinking of… There’s not some secret world disaster that I just happen to know in advance. Promise. The end that I am talking about is the semester and year! Every 12 months, you get the opportunity to reinvent yourself. I am a college student and finals are just around the corner.

I always say that I will make some drastic change in my life at the start of the new year, but it never happens. The changes that have happened in my life this year weren’t planned. They were better that way. The changes that occured this year transformed me for the better. I learned to love myself and who I had become.

I am so happy with the way my life is right now. I may be single, but hey more Shakira rock out sessions in my room! I’ve never felt more happy with my apperance and the peace I have within me. This year instead of making some elaborate promise to myself that would take the will of God to keep, I am just going to promise to keep doing what I’m doing. Just to be who I am and happy with it.

Everyday, I have accepted to love who I am. Besides, you can’t change it no matter how hard you try.

XOXO

 

Carrie Bradshaw wanna be

Internships for a magazine. How do people get them? How amazing it would be to write about something you actually cared about while living in the city. Could life get any better? Probably not. Is that how Carrie Bradshaw started out in Sex and the City? Simple and yet so beautifully magical in all ways.

People say the downfall to internships is not getting paid. Who cares about the pay when you are in an environment like that? Going to work everyday and experiencing the chaos that is offered. Some people may say I’m crazy for wanting something like that. Nothing ever being the same, always something different. But what’s the fun in sitting behind a desk and looking at the same stack of papers for weeks? The Devil Wears Prada, that’s what I want. Ok well maybe not Meryl Steep screaming at every move I make but you get the point. Theoretically I want what Anne Hathaway has in The Devil Wears Prada.

Maybe my dreams are a little unrealistic, but I want to find that out for myself. I want to be caught in the whirlwind of working for a magazine. Feature writing, editing anything I can get my hands on. Maybe one day I will be as successful as Carrie Bradshaw, but for now, the campus news paper will have to do.

Bad luck repeats

I wake up and there is snow on the ground. Why is this happening? I understand it is mid November, but hoped it would hold off for awhile. Go to blow my nose and my nose starts bleeding. Of course I am wearing some of my favorite pajamas that now have permanent little red polka dots right around the neckline now. And not the kind you pay a pretty penny for… I just woke up and my day had already started off like this, what could be any worse?

Go to class and totally bomb my speech. Hey at least I looked cute while doing it! I later go to work and tear my finger nail in half. My day had been on a repeating nightmare of bad luck. I can’t help but feel like if I was in the city, none of this would be happening. Everything bad that happens, happens in the country right? Well maybe not… but that somehow made it feel better at the time.

It’s 5 months away until our trip. People are counting down the days until Christmas break and all I can think of is New York. If I had a nose bleed in New York it wouldn’t be as horrifying… Well at least if I wasn’t shopping in Saks Fifth Avenue.  All that’s keeping me going is the not soon enough day coming when I will be staring at Tiffany’s. 5 months isn’t that long is it?

Kentucky to New York

As I walk around my college campus, I can’t help but notice how different I am.  Not different in a bad way. Just different. I have always lived in Kentucky. While there is nothing wrong with Kentucky, I can’t help but feel like I don’t belong here. When I dream at night, I dream of the city. Bright lights and tall buildings. Everyone going their seperate ways but somehow have something in common. The boy coming around the corner is hiding a secret he has kept too long and the girl walking out of the store just bought a whole collection hoping to fit in. All the fabulous shoes that hurt so bad yet all that matters is how stunning they look.

Here the only thing that matters is how much camo you own and how much UK you wear. First off, who decided camo should become a fashion? Camo is repulsive on so many levels. And as for UK, I only wear blue if it is a more flattering shade than that. I own none of either. And proud of that. Fashion is the last thing on peoples minds here. I stand out. Not only for the bright colors of lipsticks I flaunt, but the daring fashion pieces I wear. Here wearing a shade of purple lipstick automatically becomes the talk of the town. What it would be like to live in a city where not everyone knew your name and whole life story.

At night, this small town girl dreams. Big dreams, and wonders where she belongs. But it’s not hard to figure out. She belongs where the city never sleeps and the height of your heels feel inadequate everytime you step out of the house.

 

“I love New York, even though it isn’t mine, the way something has to be, a tree or a street or a house, something, anyway, that belongs to me because I belong to it.”

-Truman Capote