Gratitude

You know how they say a picture is worth a thousand words? This is one of those pictures. If this picture doesn’t break your heart into a million pieces then there is something seriously wrong with your morals. Looking at this picture, I reflected on all the selfish things I do everyday. Everday I take for granted some of the simplest yet most important aspects of everday life.

Everyday I wonder who I am going to sit with at lunch rather than being grateful I even have food to eat during that meal. Everyday I sit in the classroom wondering why the lights are so bright rather than being thankful for the electricity in that building. Everyday I argue with my mom over petty things instead of appreciating the unfailing love she has always showered me with. Everyday I throw away half drunk water bottles without thinking twice about all the people in the world who can’t even drink water because it’s not safe.

Sometimes it’s hard to appreciate what’s right infront of us. Trust me, I know the feeling. But everything we have could be one more thing than someone else could have. And also vice versa, someone is always going to have more than us. Greed is a never ending battle, but sometimes all it takes is a simple picture to bring us back down to earth.

Here’s to growing up

As the school year is coming to and end, I have been looking back at all that has happened this academic year. Some monumental things have happened in my life, well I think they are monumental at least!

As part of growing up, you have to choose who your friends are and aren’t. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘conditional friends’? That’s when someone who you consider your friend is only around when it is convienant for them. It’s hard to let those people go but life is short and who wants to spend it around someone who doesn’t enjoy being with you as much as you do them?

Another thing that has been monumental this year is deciding on a major. Yes I am a sophomore and didn’t know what I wanted to do until a couple of months ago. Hey, deciding what you want to do for the rest of your life at the age of 19 is not the easiest thing in the world! There are so many opportunities and jobs out there that focusing towards just one was a little tricky.

One of the last things that have been monumental for me is the fact I have grown to love myself and who I have become. Now this may seem silly but this has taken me years to accomplish. There were always things I wish i had done differently and days when I wished I looked differently. Finally realizing that being me was the best I could ever be gave me such a peace inside.

Never wish you were someone else, there is only one of you in the entire world and that makes you ridiculously special! Never forget that no matter what!

 

XOXO

I am the one who…

I am the person who is honest to a fault. I am the person who can’t keep their mouth shut even when they need to. I am the friend who will tell you what I really think of the sweater you’re wearing. I am the friend who will tell you if you are doing something that you will regret later. I am the friend who will tell you whats best even when you think you know the answer yourself. I am the friend who would give you advice at 2am if you called crying on the phone. I am the person you could call if you needed help or were in trouble.

I am the person who will say no to a date even though I like you simply from fear of messing things up. I am the person who keeps everything held inside even when I’m ready to burst. I am the person who tries to look perfectly put together when I’m truthfully not.

I am the one who…

 

XOXO

The Concrete Jungle or Real Jungle…

Recently I was given the opportunity of a lifetime to travel to Belize and complete field studies in the jungle!  While this is an awesome trip and I would be thrilled to go somewhere so exotic and beautiful, I would have to give up my New York trip. New York has always been somewhere I have longed to go. Heck I have even been to LA and let me just tell you that it doesn’t even touch the thoughts of being in NY City.

My mom told me she would pay for me to go on one of the trips but it was my decision to choose. In Belize we will be getting to observe all kinds of wildlife in the jungle, visit Myan villages and go to the second larget coral reef in the world to go scuba diving! I mean who would want to hold a little monkey in your arms and come face to face with a Tucan?!

The only problem is I am so torn on which to do. Since I am a Biology major, this trip would actually count as college credit and look wonderful on resumes! But at the same time I wanted to walk around Central Park and see the less dangerous birds of New York City.

HELP ME CHOOSE! PLEASE! Leave your comments on which trip you think I should go on!

 

XOXO

Anti Bucket List

So I’m sure you have heard of the classic bucket list where you list all the things you would like to do before you die… But here is the not so popular version of the things you DON’T want to do before dying.

1) Go skydiving. I never understood why people thought it was life affirming to decide they just want to jump out of a plane one day…

2) Wear jean overalls. If you want to see me in those you’ll have to bury me in them.

3) Work fast food. No, just no.

4) Swim with sharks. For obvious reasons

5) Pre plan my funeral. There is something just so morbid about that.

6) Hold a tarantula

7) Have children. Never want any.

8) Sleep in the woods. Hints back to my blog name.

9) Stay in a ice hotel. Pretty sure that’s just an igloo.

10) Get hugged by Justin Bieber. Pretty sure he would get a slap instead. That’s for you Selena.

 

XOXO

100 Questions Tag!

1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?  Closed
2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?  Yes! Who doesn’t?
3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?  Tucked in!
4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?  No… Pretty sure that is illegal.
5:Do you like to use post-it notes?  LOVE THEM
6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?  I have so many unused coupons
7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?  Well a bear could easily kill so I would say bees.
8:Do you have freckles?  In the summer
9:Do you always smile for pictures?  Yes! I love to show off the teeth I wore braces for 6 years to get.
10:What is your biggest pet peeve?  Lying. The truth always comes out anyways.
11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?  I do too often
12:Have you ever peed in the woods?  No.
13:What about pooped in the woods?  No.
14:Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?  Yes all the time
15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?  No I always found that to be very unhygienic
16:How many people have you slept with this week?  None…
17:What size is your bed?  Queen
18:What is your Song of the week?  Bennie and the Jets by Elton John
19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?  In a sophisticated way. Not those trashy “Real men wear pink” shirts.
20:Do you still watch cartoons?  Sure don’t
21:Whats your least favorite movie?  Frozen. I cannot stand that movie.
22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?  If I told you it wouldn’t be hidden anymore!
23:What do you drink with dinner?  Water
24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?  I am a vegetarian.
25:What is your favorite food?  Pizza unfortunately
26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?  Romantic comedies
27:Last person you kissed/kissed you?  An ex boyfriend
28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?  Yes!
29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?  No way.
30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?  Last year?
31:Can you change the oil on a car?  No….
32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?  Nope!
33:Ever ran out of gas?  No.
34:Favorite kind of sandwich?  Grilled cheese!
35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?  Bagel and cream cheese
36:What is your usual bedtime?  12ish
37:Are you lazy?  I wish I could say I wasn’t…
38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? I’ve dressed up for some many different things.
39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?  Pig
40:How many languages can you speak?  I took Spanish in high school but never picked it up. So just one.
41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?  Pretty sure I have three.. Glamour, Seventeen and O Magazine
42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?  Legos
43:Are you stubborn?  VERY
44:Who is better…Leno or Letterman?  Leno
45:Ever watch soap operas?  Nah
46:Are you afraid of heights?  Not unless there’s a chance I could fall
47:Do you sing in the car?  Always
48:Do you sing in the shower?  Did you really shower if you didn’t sing…?
49:Do you dance in the car?  Of course
50:Ever used a gun?  Does a BB gun count?
51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?  Senior Pictures
52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?  Not at all
53:Is Christmas stressful?  Yes, very
54:Ever eat a pierogi?  No. Those just don’t look good at all.
55:Favorite type of fruit pie?  Apple
56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?  Disney Channel Actress
57:Do you believe in ghosts?  No
58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?  I actually have them quite often
59:Take a vitamin daily?  Gummy vitamins!
60:Wear slippers?  No
61:Wear a bath robe?  Yes you just about have to in the dorm
62:What do you wear to bed?  Shorts and a t-shirt
63:First concert?  Hilary Duff
64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?  TARGET IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
65:Nike or Adidas?  Nikes forever
66:Cheetos Or Fritos?  Cheetos
67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?  Peanuts
68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?  No
69:Ever take dance lessons?  Yes I did in elementary and high school
70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?  Something that makes a good amount of money
71:Can you curl your tongue?  Yes
72:Ever won a spelling bee?  Yes. My mom was very intent on me winning in grade school
73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?  Maybe once?
74:Own any record albums?  No
75:Own a record player?  I listen to my brothers
76:Regularly burn incense?  No we aren’t allowed in the dorms
77:Ever been in love?  No I think it was more of infatuation
78:Who would you like to see in concert?  I will marry whoever takes me to see Taylor Swift! No joke!
79:What was the last concert you saw?  A christian music artist
80:Hot tea or cold tea?  Neither
81:Tea or coffee?  Neither again. I mostly just like water and juices.
82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?  Sugar!
83:Can you swim well?  I can swim very well
84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?  Sure can
85:Are you patient?  Not at all.
86:DJ or band, at a wedding?  Live music is always best, so a band.
87:Ever won a contest?  Yes. I win contest for things that I never really want. Like once I won a grill.
88:Ever have plastic surgery?  No and never will
89:Which are better black or green olives?  Olives are nasty
90:Can you knit or crochet?  Crochet
91:Best room for a fireplace?  The living room
92:Do you want to get married?  Yes! One day someone wants to marry me…
93:If married, how long have you been married?  Not married
94:Who was your HS crush?  Jacob. I thought I was in love with that boy. Little did I know I was just being stupid.
95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?  There’s a good chance of it
96:Do you have kids?  No
97:Do you want kids?  No I don’t
98:Whats your favorite color?  Pink
99:Do you miss anyone right now?  Yes a couple of people

100: What’s one word you would use to describe yourself?  Awkward.

 

XOXO

To fade in or stand your ground

Sticking up for what you believe in can be challenging in todays world. Peer pressure is every where you look and starts at a very young age. Especially in college have I noticed the push to do what every one else is doing. While having high standards and morals for myself, I often am the one who is sitting in their room on any given Saturday night. Am I ashamed of this? No. But do I wish sometimes I would just let loose and enjoy the college experience? Maybe.

It seems every time I am completely satisfied with who I am and what I’m doing, someone comes along and makes me question everything I thought I knew. Although I go to a Christian University, parties are everywhere. Don’t even think I haven’t thought about a Cosmo just to see what Carrie Bradshaw raves about. Boys text and want only one thing from you. Ok well they clearly only want one thing from you but do I take the signs and run? No. Do I think of just going along with it and taking a chance? Absolutely yes.

Although I find myself asking these questions quite regularly, I always go back to what I know as being right. Never would I act upon these impending questions in my mind. If no one stands up for what they believe in, then what would we have left? Simply the ‘Standard’ for what teenagers should be like today. Fighting standards and norms can be challenging but in the end so much more rewarding.

 

XOXO

 

My Spotlight Experience…

After deciding to audition for the University of the Cumberlands talent show, I went straight from the computer screen to the auditions. Going in to the audition I had made myself sick from nerves. Once stepping into the audition room, all the nerves suddenly disappeared. It was like a wave of peace had washed over me. After singing my heart out to House of the Rising Sun by the Animals, I made it in! I had never been more proud of myself for accomplishing something that I was absolutely terrified of! But the next performance would be in front of the student body with duet partners….

Leaving the room knowing who my duet partner was going to be was honestly terrifying. Just so you all know, I am a lower alto with a deep rustic voice. That night I got paired with a rapper. I was hoping to get paired with another so we could belt it out with one another but the odds just weren’t in my favor. Spotlight kept getting closer and all my energy was focused on trying to get my partner to come to practice! She met with me one time before the show on Tuesday and didn’t even know the lyrics when we met.

Here I am Tuesday night doing sound check before the show and she just completly stops rapping. She had forgotten her lyrics again. Once we got on stage to perform for the student body things started smoothly until we got half way through the song. I thought we had made it until she just suddenly stopped rapping and bowed her head and placed her fist in the air. Her I am standing there trying not to show the signs of distress on my face as my partner had left me standing there in charge of the rest of her parts. All I could do was to improvise to the best of my ability. The rest of the song was off beat and I got hounded by the judges while my partner got praised for her not so excellent performance.

Now if I mess something up, you better believe I will take the responsibility for my actions. Later that night, I was eliminated while my partner went on to the next round. While I was proud of the performance I had delievered that night. I couldn’t help but be disappointed. Simply for the fact that while I was left in the dust to make up for her lacking performance, I was the one who got punished in the end.

If you have ever heard the saying “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know” I am here to tell you that it’s 100% true no matter how unfortunate it is.

 

XOXO

Don’t let fears control you

Every year, I have wanted to participate in the school’s talent show singing. My anxiety and fears have always held me back from this small dream I’ve had. Tonight is the auditions for this years show and all I can think of is what to do… One half of me is saying “You go girl” while the other half is saying “Don’t you dare”! As I’m sitting here writting this, I think of all the things fear has held me back from. Looking back, it has been more than I had even imagined.

Fears control parts of our lives that only we should get to control. Tonight I am going to audition for the show. If I make it that’s great but if I don’t, who cares! At least I conquered my fears and won’t regret not trying out later… I’ll keep you guys updated on what happens! In the mean time, wish me luck!

 

XOXO

Would the real Prince Charming please stand up

“When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he’s everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he’s not easy to spot; he’s really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair.” -Taylor Swift

How true is this? While reading along, I pictured all the boys who this applied to. All the boys whose rude jokes turned into hurtful messages, the boy who didn’t value who you truly are or the boy who left you in your hardest times. Sometimes you have to open the book before finding out the pages have been torn and it’s all moldy inside. Looks can be so deceiving sometimes. It’s like those dark eyes are drawing you in. Trust me girl, I know the feeling. One day, the real Prince Charming will come a long and make you realize why you had waited so long.

PS. Just like you, I’m hoping that day comes sooner rather than later.

 

XOXO